Sojourner's Diary: INDEPENDENCE FROM THE “FRIENDZONE”

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 Sojourner's Diary: INDEPENDENCE FROM THE “FRIENDZONE”



First of, happy Independence in arrears to Nigeria now on to you? Are you free or are you still stuck in the platonic zone with every girl you've ever liked? 

This is a read that is strictly for the guys and so therefore, ladies comot for here. Now, believe me when I say no one knows more about the friendzone than me on this earth. Seriously o. I think I’ve literally lived in it with so many girls and this is accumulated knowledge over time. Now these anecdotes are for guys who always end up as every girl’s “bestie”. Hope they save your lives. 

1. Don’t be too funny with her. You can be funny around her and that is when it’s not just the two of you. But when you guys are alone, always try to keep a straight face. Not strict o, I said straight. If you’re always making her laugh, that’s exactly what you’ll always be- Joker- and never Batman.

2. Flirt with her friends but make it obvious that she’s the one you’re actually after. Smile with her friends. Compliment them but not too much. Nothing reveals a girl’s love better than jealousy. Crack those your jokes when you, her and her friends are together.

3. Never tell her you love her if you guys aren’t dating yet.

4. Tell your guys to never make any form of joke or reference to any inappropriate past act around her.

5. Tell your friends you like her to avoid a clash of interest.

6. DO not be too available for her. Don’t be always ready to help her out with assignments, meals, money, hold things or anything at all.

7. Don’t call or text her too often.

8. Be raw in your flirtation with her. Compliment her and look her in the eyes while doing so.

9. One of the most important tip is to be absolutely sure she has something for you too or else my guy, you just de jonze yourself. How to do this? Be close friends with her friends so as to get information from them. Or better still, be friends with her siblings so they can chip in good words for you and also give you info.

10. Never ask her out! Let her suggest it then you agree. Thrill her. Let her wonder if you really like her. Then allow her probe. But DON'T ask her out. 

If you follow these steps properly and they don’t work, my brother you’re hopeless and only becoming rich can stop you from dying single. I hope someone finds this useful.

Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman ✌🏾


PS: I wrote this two or three years ago. Can't remember. And it's worked sublimely for years now.


Post by: The Sojourner 

Socials: Twitter: @Iamcrosswordz

               IG:          @crosswordz

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