TUESDAY TALK WITH GBEMI: LOST (A tale of societal pressure, domestic abuse)
LOST
She was frustrated, she was exhausted. She was tired of waiting for the “right” man. She was in her mid-thirties. Her time was running out. All her friends are married with at least two kids. There was pressure from her parents, friends and relatives to get married. She was a successful lady and a devout christian, money was not a problem, getting married was. God’s delay is never His denial, people say. This morning, she woke up feeling hopeful. She had a dream last night were she was dressed in a white wedding gown, getting ready to walk down the aisle. She knelt and prayed, “Lord let this dream of mine become a reality”. With that, she went about her daily routine to get ready for work. On her way back home from work, she had a flat tire. She tried reaching her mechanic but he was unavailable. She also tried to flag down other vehicles, none stopped. Suddenly, the clouds opened and it began to rain with a vengeance. She sat in her car and prayed for a miracle to happen. She must have dozed off because she woke to the sound of knocking on her window. A man was standing under the rain with an umbrella in his hand and an angelic smile on his face. His smile knocked off her feet even though she was sitting. “Do you need help?”, he asked. She came down from her car and explained her predicament. He offered to help her change the flat tire, of course he had a spare. They talked throughout the process and at the end he asked for her phone contact and out of the gratitude of her heart she gave him, thanked him for helping and zoomed off.
He called her the following week and asked her out on a date. She agreed. One date led to many more, she got to know him better. He was a rich, young man who owns a successful IT firm. Above all, he was a Christian, a choir director in his church. She had hit the jackpot at last. Six months later, he proposed with a huge diamond ring and she agreed to marry him. Their wedding was the talk of the town, the honeymoon was everything she dreamt of. Every day was a dream come true, she became pregnant and he showered her with the most expensive gifts money can buy. “You should stop working”, he told her one morning. “I don’t want my pregnant wife stressing herself”. She obliged willingly. After the birth of her beautiful daughter, things started going downhill. He cut her off from most of her friends. “You are a mother now, behave like one” he told her. Being the dutiful wife she was, she complied. After all, the Bible commands wives to submit to their husbands.
One fateful day, he struck her for not preparing his meal on time. Her pleas of being busy with the baby and house chores fell on deaf ears. The following morning, he apologized to her with chocolates. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me”. She forgave him. The following week, he slapped her for not picking his calls on time. He apologized once again with yet another expensive jewelry. A month after, he hit once again for going to visit a friend without letting him know. He apologized yet again but this time with a beautiful car and promised not to hit her ever again. “Well he is truly sorry”, she thought. Unfortunately, the beatings never stopped. He abused her physically and emotionally. She tried telling her mother. “You are married with a child, it is your cross to bear, no marriage is perfect, try to avoid getting him angry”, were her mother’s advice. She never told anyone after that. She was scared of letting anyone know. She did not want to leave him, she still loved him. “I can’t leave him, what will people say, I don’t want my daughter to grow up without her father”. These were her fears. “He will change one day” was her constant hope. Until one day he beat her up till she was unconscious. She never woke up. That was the end for her, she was lost in oblivion. On the head of her tombstone were the written words: “Dearly beloved daughter, wife and mother’.
She was frustrated, she was exhausted. She was tired of waiting for the “right” man. She was in her mid-thirties. Her time was running out. All her friends are married with at least two kids. There was pressure from her parents, friends and relatives to get married. She was a successful lady and a devout christian, money was not a problem, getting married was. God’s delay is never His denial, people say. This morning, she woke up feeling hopeful. She had a dream last night were she was dressed in a white wedding gown, getting ready to walk down the aisle. She knelt and prayed, “Lord let this dream of mine become a reality”. With that, she went about her daily routine to get ready for work. On her way back home from work, she had a flat tire. She tried reaching her mechanic but he was unavailable. She also tried to flag down other vehicles, none stopped. Suddenly, the clouds opened and it began to rain with a vengeance. She sat in her car and prayed for a miracle to happen. She must have dozed off because she woke to the sound of knocking on her window. A man was standing under the rain with an umbrella in his hand and an angelic smile on his face. His smile knocked off her feet even though she was sitting. “Do you need help?”, he asked. She came down from her car and explained her predicament. He offered to help her change the flat tire, of course he had a spare. They talked throughout the process and at the end he asked for her phone contact and out of the gratitude of her heart she gave him, thanked him for helping and zoomed off.
He called her the following week and asked her out on a date. She agreed. One date led to many more, she got to know him better. He was a rich, young man who owns a successful IT firm. Above all, he was a Christian, a choir director in his church. She had hit the jackpot at last. Six months later, he proposed with a huge diamond ring and she agreed to marry him. Their wedding was the talk of the town, the honeymoon was everything she dreamt of. Every day was a dream come true, she became pregnant and he showered her with the most expensive gifts money can buy. “You should stop working”, he told her one morning. “I don’t want my pregnant wife stressing herself”. She obliged willingly. After the birth of her beautiful daughter, things started going downhill. He cut her off from most of her friends. “You are a mother now, behave like one” he told her. Being the dutiful wife she was, she complied. After all, the Bible commands wives to submit to their husbands.
One fateful day, he struck her for not preparing his meal on time. Her pleas of being busy with the baby and house chores fell on deaf ears. The following morning, he apologized to her with chocolates. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me”. She forgave him. The following week, he slapped her for not picking his calls on time. He apologized once again with yet another expensive jewelry. A month after, he hit once again for going to visit a friend without letting him know. He apologized yet again but this time with a beautiful car and promised not to hit her ever again. “Well he is truly sorry”, she thought. Unfortunately, the beatings never stopped. He abused her physically and emotionally. She tried telling her mother. “You are married with a child, it is your cross to bear, no marriage is perfect, try to avoid getting him angry”, were her mother’s advice. She never told anyone after that. She was scared of letting anyone know. She did not want to leave him, she still loved him. “I can’t leave him, what will people say, I don’t want my daughter to grow up without her father”. These were her fears. “He will change one day” was her constant hope. Until one day he beat her up till she was unconscious. She never woke up. That was the end for her, she was lost in oblivion. On the head of her tombstone were the written words: “Dearly beloved daughter, wife and mother’.
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