LIFE AS IT IS: THIRD WHEEL
THIRD WHEEL
When I was growing up, I had lots of resements towards my brother. He's younger than me so by the time he was born, I was two years and some months. I felt neglected, God's truth and it really hurt me. I remember when I was four or so, my mother had left the barracks to go pick up my sisters from my dad's cousin place in Ajegunle. We had returned from a trip to Port Harcourt which they hadn't gone with us. My mother had left me in the barracks feeling she couldn't carry two children along with her. I had cried following her to the barracks main gate when she had carefully told the gateman not to let me out. I had then cried my way back home, and then I had gattered every stone I could find and stoned our house until the tears stopped. I was a stoner, and not the weed kind (cover face)
The funny thing is that I didn't really get the attention much after. We lost our mother two years after this incident. And even after that, I still got angry with him in every little thing. I'm not proud of it and I believe that even though I must have been a little bit harsh, I feel there were lots of times he took advantage of that position; being the last child.
Being a parent is really not easy and I'm not saying this because I got experience. No, not one bit. I'm saying this because of what I've seen. That's why I envy people who try thier possible best not to let any of thier child feel left out. That shit is difficult, I tell you and you remember where we are; Nigeria.
Where some people feel like the male child has more importance to the family than the female child. I feel like being neglected is what most of them feel and most of us may end up making this same mistakes because of our roots and the society we have been brought up into. I mean you can already see what's coming out from some millennials mouths these days and you begin to wonder, are these people really educated; but then you realized that being educated is not just going to school.
One of the reason I decided to write about this is because I was talking to a very good friend of mine who felt there were lots of things her siblings would do and her parents would consider it normal behavior, but when she does it, it becomes being disobedient. Also, since Miss Rona, I've met lot of people who felt like the third , fourth or fifth wheel in thier family. You know one annoying part about all this, most parents don't realize they are treating thier children differently and if they do, they find nothing wrong with it.
Then later on in life, they begin to wonder why Peter doesn't call them much as Simon or why Sarah does lesser than the former or later.
I'm no psychologist or behaviourist or..... what's else is there? but I do believe that parents should really take time to analyze how they treat thier kids. Don't make any of your feel like you don't care for them as much as you do for thier siblings. It causes tension and sincerely not the good kind.
We are all guilty of one thing or another.
We shouldn't add this to those..
Let's not make the incoming generation, our children feel like they have to fight for our attention.
Shalom.
Post by Abubakar Abdul
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Sorry you felt that way why growing up❤
ReplyDeleteI remember a story a classmate told us when we were younger how a little boy mistakenly drowned his little brother. He felt his brother stoled all his parents attention. That little boy is someone's grandfather now and only few people know that story. Thank you talking about it
ReplyDeleteI remember a story a classmate told us when we were younger how a little boy mistakenly drowned his little brother. He felt his brother stoled all his parents attention. That little boy is someone's grandfather now and only few people know that story. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you
ReplyDelete