LIFE AS IT IS: HOME
HOME
He hadn't seen her in years.
Everything about her was changed. Gone was the beautiful, sunny woman who had laughed with all her heart. Her mouth crooked as she told a joke,a glint in her eyes after a little lie.
Gone was the woman who had loved him.
Standing here was someone different entirely. He wished some much it was just a moment and maybe his eyes were deceiving him,and for a second he closed his eyes and prayed so.
He knew when it started,when everything had been good and everything had turned bad. Once upon a time, she had been his beloved mother.
In the year 2007,he was a young man becoming accustomed to being an adolescent and how much hormones could make the body functions. He and his mother had lived in a one bedroom apartment facing the London bridge. He had attended school on the weekdays and helped his mother at her photo studio during the weekends. It had just been two of them until Paul had walked into their studio on a Saturday morning.
In a way it had felt like a miracle the first few months. He was brilliant and was already thinking of college. He had felt guilty leaving home and leaving the woman who done so much for him. Paul had felt like God's sent. After all his mother would have someone to look after her now.
And it had felt like that for a while. All charming and sweet on the surface, portraying the father figure and being so cool.
Then he had turned. He blamed himself for not to have seen who Paul had really been but how could he had know.
Paul had been a master at his craft. So slick until he had been ready to pounce.
Paul had turned his mother into a religious zealot. Against him. The first time he had told him mother how he was bisexual . She had been surprised. She had wondered how he could be when he was so manly. She hadn't really understood how he could be different but then she hadn't condemned him either. She loved him and so had felt nothing was more than the love she had for him. But then, Paul had entered into their lives and his loving mother had looked at him one day with hate full in her eyes and told him how he would rut in hell.
"Have you decided to give your life to Christ" she said, her voice still hateful.
He wouldn't let her see how much she hurt him.
"Moth.. " he tried to say.
"You're no son of mine until you're rid of your sins" she said and banged the door on his face.
He stood there for a while, then walked down to his car. He opened the door, sat, and bleed tears on the steering.
He would go to the place where the remaining part of his heart was.
He hadn't seen her in years.
Everything about her was changed. Gone was the beautiful, sunny woman who had laughed with all her heart. Her mouth crooked as she told a joke,a glint in her eyes after a little lie.
Gone was the woman who had loved him.
Standing here was someone different entirely. He wished some much it was just a moment and maybe his eyes were deceiving him,and for a second he closed his eyes and prayed so.
He knew when it started,when everything had been good and everything had turned bad. Once upon a time, she had been his beloved mother.
In the year 2007,he was a young man becoming accustomed to being an adolescent and how much hormones could make the body functions. He and his mother had lived in a one bedroom apartment facing the London bridge. He had attended school on the weekdays and helped his mother at her photo studio during the weekends. It had just been two of them until Paul had walked into their studio on a Saturday morning.
In a way it had felt like a miracle the first few months. He was brilliant and was already thinking of college. He had felt guilty leaving home and leaving the woman who done so much for him. Paul had felt like God's sent. After all his mother would have someone to look after her now.
And it had felt like that for a while. All charming and sweet on the surface, portraying the father figure and being so cool.
Then he had turned. He blamed himself for not to have seen who Paul had really been but how could he had know.
Paul had been a master at his craft. So slick until he had been ready to pounce.
Paul had turned his mother into a religious zealot. Against him. The first time he had told him mother how he was bisexual . She had been surprised. She had wondered how he could be when he was so manly. She hadn't really understood how he could be different but then she hadn't condemned him either. She loved him and so had felt nothing was more than the love she had for him. But then, Paul had entered into their lives and his loving mother had looked at him one day with hate full in her eyes and told him how he would rut in hell.
"Have you decided to give your life to Christ" she said, her voice still hateful.
He wouldn't let her see how much she hurt him.
"Moth.. " he tried to say.
"You're no son of mine until you're rid of your sins" she said and banged the door on his face.
He stood there for a while, then walked down to his car. He opened the door, sat, and bleed tears on the steering.
He would go to the place where the remaining part of his heart was.
Comments
Post a Comment