LIFE AS IT IS
Hope
The boy at the park had called her beautiful and for some seconds, she had stare at herself inside the fountain, trying to see what he saw.
All she had seen was her lost self.
Once upon a time, she had called herself cute. Not beautiful, but her long dark hair could make her stand out. Back then, she was the wife and the mother.
Back then, she had felt loved. Maybe, a tiny bit.
She had met Tony in her engineering class in the University. She had been one of the few ladies who were studying the course. And while most of her female counterpart carried the nerd look, she had been different.
Lively, fun and so on....
I guess that was one of the things that had made the guys in her class attracted to her. Tony on the hand had been indifferent. She had learned he had come from a low-income family and came in through student loans.
At first, she had found it difficult to get his attentions. But then, she had learned the tricks. She had study as hard as she could and when the semester exams results had come, she had scaled through being among the top five, between four boys.
That was the trick.
He has looked at her differently from then. She had seen the respect in his eyes but she had wanted more than that. She then tried doing group study with him and one or two times flirted in the process.
When the attraction was finally returned, she had been overjoyed.
A goal it seemed had been achieved.
They had dated all through college and immediately after school, he had proposed to her in her parents home after seeking her father's blessings.
The problems had started after the wedding and she could swear to have not seen any sign showing that he was going to be abusive. It had started with words, heart wrenching words and when the beating came, it felt as if her body had been waiting.
Most people had asked why she didn't divorce him. “Why didn't you divorce his mother fucking arse?" They had said. But those were the same people who had told her how she was glowing when she was feeling blue. And how it was a normal thing for couples to have clashes.
When she discovered she was pregnant, he had been excited. She had been too, thinking it was going to end.
And it did. The physical part. But everyday she still got the words.
He had died in a car crash while he was on his way back from picking their little boy from school.. They had both died.
And for a long time, she blamed herself. For entering a relationship with him, for not leaving after the first hit. For not doing anything.
But then, she realized it wasn't her guilt alone. Something had been wrong with Tony too. Most times she had saw him crying when he taught no was around; most of those times were the days he hit her. He had been going through something and while she didn't know what it was, she could had looked for ways or someone to help him.
Life wasn't perfect.
She had been on the receiving end of a man who was going through his own demons
She had been lost.
But now she was finally finding herself again.
She looked in the water again, this time she saw hope.
The boy at the park had called her beautiful and for some seconds, she had stare at herself inside the fountain, trying to see what he saw.
All she had seen was her lost self.
Once upon a time, she had called herself cute. Not beautiful, but her long dark hair could make her stand out. Back then, she was the wife and the mother.
Back then, she had felt loved. Maybe, a tiny bit.
She had met Tony in her engineering class in the University. She had been one of the few ladies who were studying the course. And while most of her female counterpart carried the nerd look, she had been different.
Lively, fun and so on....
I guess that was one of the things that had made the guys in her class attracted to her. Tony on the hand had been indifferent. She had learned he had come from a low-income family and came in through student loans.
At first, she had found it difficult to get his attentions. But then, she had learned the tricks. She had study as hard as she could and when the semester exams results had come, she had scaled through being among the top five, between four boys.
That was the trick.
He has looked at her differently from then. She had seen the respect in his eyes but she had wanted more than that. She then tried doing group study with him and one or two times flirted in the process.
When the attraction was finally returned, she had been overjoyed.
A goal it seemed had been achieved.
They had dated all through college and immediately after school, he had proposed to her in her parents home after seeking her father's blessings.
The problems had started after the wedding and she could swear to have not seen any sign showing that he was going to be abusive. It had started with words, heart wrenching words and when the beating came, it felt as if her body had been waiting.
Most people had asked why she didn't divorce him. “Why didn't you divorce his mother fucking arse?" They had said. But those were the same people who had told her how she was glowing when she was feeling blue. And how it was a normal thing for couples to have clashes.
When she discovered she was pregnant, he had been excited. She had been too, thinking it was going to end.
And it did. The physical part. But everyday she still got the words.
He had died in a car crash while he was on his way back from picking their little boy from school.. They had both died.
And for a long time, she blamed herself. For entering a relationship with him, for not leaving after the first hit. For not doing anything.
But then, she realized it wasn't her guilt alone. Something had been wrong with Tony too. Most times she had saw him crying when he taught no was around; most of those times were the days he hit her. He had been going through something and while she didn't know what it was, she could had looked for ways or someone to help him.
Life wasn't perfect.
She had been on the receiving end of a man who was going through his own demons
She had been lost.
But now she was finally finding herself again.
She looked in the water again, this time she saw hope.
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