LIFE AS IT IS: THE VOICE

THE VOICE

That's what I named the little sweet, soft whisper inside my head. It had came to me in my time of struggle, papa and mama were having marital problems and papa was going to take all his wealth and leave us with nothing
The voice had helped us find evidence that papa was the offender and wife beater, the evidence had resulted in papa being charged with wife battery and his cheating arse had been sent to prison.
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The voice had helped me in my math test in my form one in high school, I had been sick the previous week, the voice had helped me go through it. i had come out with a B, not an A but better than an F.
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The voice had saved me from being fooled, in my last year in the university. I had caught my fiance with my friend in my room. The voice had helped me during the breakup. It helped get a job. It became part of me and there was a time I could tell it loved me.
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That was before it became aggressive. it all started with it telling me who to be friends with, who to date, what to eat, what to wear, where to work.
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It even made me get to work late once in September simply because I refused to apply for the managing position of a job we had seen in the paper. I came to hate it and I could tell the feeling is mutual but it would say anytime I tell it to leave me, that I belonged to it. "You are mine" it would laugh darkly.
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I walk into the compound of my fiancée Julie. Julie and I have been seeing each other for two years now. I had proposed to her weeks before and tears of love had flowed down her face as she whispered yes. It had been a wonderful day. The voice had been jealous, "Is it not too soon?" it had whispered, "She is just like Precious" it also said referring to my former fiance. I didn't listen of course, I had stopped listening to it years ago.
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I knock on the door, no reply. I knock again, still no reply. I stretched my hand into my suit pocket to take the keys she had given me. "Maybe she's in the bathroom" I mutter to myself.
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My phone rings, I remove it from my pocket, "Who is this?" I whisper. She laughed, i could tell it is a woman voice, the laughter is so soft and womanly kind and also familiar.
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And then she whispers back, "The voice. You want your fiance?, come get her", I shudder violently. "Remember our old playground?, I can't wait for you to meet me" she continues and then the line cuts.

2
I remember meeting it 'The Voice', I guess I should call her a she. I ran from home during one of parents daily quarrel, it always start with exchanging of words and ends with mama crying and bruised. It had been an old playground, where I meet It . It crept into me and underneath all that pain I found peace.
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It became my best friend, my sibling and when mama turn to drinking after papa arrest, it became my parent. If I was weird before meeting 'The Voice', you could say I become weirder. We did everything together, what to cook, what film to watch, different sort of things, and one Sunday evening when it whispered 'I love you' to me, I whispered it back.
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It helped me with my grieve as my fifteen year old self watch my mama corpse being lowered to the ground, she had gotten into an accident one reckless evening after her usual intake of alcohol. I then move in with my friend Jon's family, Jon was my best friend and after moving with his family, we became more like brothers and I guess I must have neglected the voice a little. It then made me see that Jon's mom is like my father, a cheat. This resulted in his parents divorce and Jon and his siblings were sent to stay with their grandparents in Calabar.
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I drive my car and stopped close to the site, after removing my keys I step down with my eyes looking across the landscape. It's empty, I walk to my favourite spot, that's when I saw her.
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A very beautiful, stylish woman who would have looked like she just step out from Vogue Magazine if not for the dark circle under her eyes. She step closer that's when I recognise her. Karen, that's her name.
"Kelvin" she calls out, bright smile on her face and then she hugs me.
"Karen, what are you doing here?" I ask, she smell funny, due to alcohol I guess.
She looked at me with her smile in place, some kind of emotion I couldn't place "I am your voice".
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And then I feel the pull, the connection and this time it feel stronger and dark.

3
Karen, that's her name. I haven't seen Karen since I was five. She and I had been born in the same hospital on the same day, our mothers were friends in high school. She had been diagnosed of autism when she was four and been withdrawn ever since then. Her parents moved out of town saying they had found doctors in Ghana who are very knowledgeable about her illness years ago.
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My memories of her were before the illness, we had been inseparable as any two three year old could be, we had attended the same day care centre and our parents had labelled us as best friends.
"Karen, where is Julie?" I ask gently. Her face turn into a pout and then she point to the lying figure behind her.
"Julie!" I run to my fiancee, who is on the floor, unconscious. "What did you do to her" I ask, turning to Karen.
"I told her you love me and we are going to get married, she argued so I knock her out with my gun" she answers with that smile, looking at me showing her pistol.
I feel sick, I guess I should be angry but all I feel is pity. "We are getting married right?"she asked uncertainty.
"No...I mean yes" I reply quickly. I step closer to her "Karen give me the gun" I whispers, she look at me with loving smile and then hit me.
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Lord, it's like she has been possessed, her blow struck me straight to the ground. The only woman who I could say posses this kind of strength is sister Margaret, my high school teacher. I watched her pounce on a parent who had abused his daughter years ago, I wasn't surprised, sister Margaret is strong like an Ox.
"You think am a fool, remember we are connected, I can read you like a book" she says pointing her gun at me " You are mine!, mine!!. she shouts
My head feels heavy, my gaze blur. I stand up with shaking feet, "Karen" I call softly.
Don't call my name!" she shouts, that's when I attack. We roll over each other for gun possession, her strength surprise me since she look so skinny. I feel pain on my shoulder, I look up to see it blooded, behind me Karen is standing up with the gun in her hands.
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Then I hear the shout, I look up to see Karen on the the floor unconscious with a shivering Julie standing over her with a stick.
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I can't still explain the connection, Karen is on the hospital bed. The stick Julie used to struck her head has a nail attached to it . She had to be taken in for surgery.
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I tried to contact her parents but I was told they had died years ago and that Karen had escaped from a mental facility last week, the same day I proposed to Julie. Her reason for being admitted is because she talks to herself, saying she is talking to her best friend. That's me I guess, she stir suddenly and her eyes open "Who are you" she asks
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I search within me for the connection. Nothing, I feel nothing. Julie walk inside the room, my whole body lit up, her eyes still red, bruise on her forehead.
"Are you okay" I ask with concern.
She looks at me with love, lazily running her finger across my plastered shoulder "Never been better".

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