DEB TALK: A MENTOR OR A TORMENTOR

A MENTOR OR A TORMENTOR?


Hello Guys, Trust our week has been inspiring, Fulfilling and Purposeful so far, Mine has been but anyway am glad the weekend is here already💃(Oops! No Secret for today, before you think I forgot😂) I had the intention of sharing some health tips with us before but I concluded we should do more of our mental healing and support session again😄(but not to worry, we will do more of the former starting from next week)
Permit me to share with us an important though Very Long Message🙈 on #DebTalk Today. Oh, it has really been an Eye-opener for me, and I do hope it blesses some one reading too.

Note- This write up is not for shallow, narrow, religious and unexposed minds. This is not a motivational therapy for the gullible but a product of thorough research with living examples in hundreds of numbers.

I know most of us have mentors we look up to and follow and eventually we want to become somebody's mentor tomorrow too, right? but hey! What Kind of Mentorship are you under and Which would you love to be?
Read through the Types highlighted below👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼 , so you can make the right choice;


-The Users: There are mentors who call you only when they need you. They only love your skills and expertise and would love to withdraw without commitment, some commit to you so long they can keep you within range for use, they never give back in any form. They Have False Interest In You.


-The Dictators: There are mentors who drop you once they no longer have control over you. They control your mind and manipulate you through fear and false principles. They get angry once they notice you've outgrown their manipulative codes. They let the whole world know how they've helped you and paint you black now that they've left you, exerting their dominant influence to keep you out of business and influence. They hardly give you second chance and they expect you to fail, they will call those who could give you support, platform and ensure you regret leaving them. They could go as far as setting you up with people who will get close to you as informants to keep them updated of your moves. The peak of it is that they also try to get everyone they know who are close to you to stay far from you, since you're now the new devil in town.

-The Advantageous: There are mentors who try to claim you when they notice you're succeeding. They don't identify with you publicly, they may even speak ill of you in secret but once they notice you're breaking even, or you just won an award or attain an enviable feat, they show up with intent to reap where they've not sown. They know you from afar, they've never invested time not even a pleasantry to you, your success caught them by surprise and here they go wanting to move from the sideline to the center of your life. They want to steal your show and harvest where they've not invested. They Lack of confidence in your ability.


-The Selfless Type: There are mentors who stand by and with you through thick and thin. They see potential in you, they use their words to affirm you and they constantly seek ways to help you get ahead. They are not looking for public praise or reward in return, they forgive you and would always reach out to you. They offer useful counsels genuinely without imposition, they scold you in love and are always excited to see you grow. They love their own life and feel secure enough to let you know what they know. They are Full of love, wisdom and humility.

Be Careful of Which you Choose to Follow. If you want to be a mentor in today's world, you must understand the generation you belong to. Time has changed and new strategies are evolving.
Don't do it for money or self-gain or for bragging right, do it as a way to contribute to humanity.
Don't wait for protégés to find you or pay you, reach out to them, they are already scared of you and would never open up to you, they have investigated your readiness to connect with them by their actions in the past but you shut them down, they will never come back!

Yes you are busy but they are dying and need urgent help, be kind to leave a word to let them know you care.

You may need several coaches but you don't need a thousand mentor to get ahead, you only need someone who believe in you, someone who is willing to guide you forward.

Understand the difference between serving (being trained in love and truth for the future) and being used (deliberate act of wickedness of keeping people stagnant without any concrete plans for their future).

A coach coaches you in an areas of expertise which in a way is a form of mentoring, but a true mentor is someone who coaches you for life, someone who wants to walk with you on your journey of life as a senior purpose partner or destiny watch guard.

Your fitness coach is good at what he does but he might just be a drug addict, Who Cares?🤷🏻‍♀ Coaches help you attain skillfulness and gain mastery in an area of competence, but a mentor fixes your character compartment, refining your core values and virtues for a life of integrity and honor, ensuring you attain mental, emotional, spiritual and financial balance in the process.

To coach, you need skills and competence, but to mentor you need more than sophisticated grammars, you need a life rooted in love, integrity, compassion and sacrifice.

We have too many coaches everywhere already, many are in our centers of learning doing amazing job, but we need more mentors to prepare the young ones for a life of impact not just to make some fast money. As a coach your skill is the manual, but as a mentor your life is the lesson.


You may be pretty and be empty, handsome but not awesome. We need more life shapers than oppressors, enough of celebrities without integrity. It's why you have many stars with cash but with many scars. The number one quality you need to mentor is love not degree.

Love makes you listen, love makes you look out for others, it makes you share, it gives you room to forgive people, it produces deep compassion, sane conscience, it powers selfless service and helps you see everyone as who they ought to be not what they've been or who they are presently.


Today we have a lot of young people going through so much but they lack access to genuinely selfless leaders or mentors who could help, many are confused, depressed and grossly distracted, look around you and ask that young boy (guy) or girl (lady) if there's anything they would like to share, you would be amazed.

Mentors don't build walls, they build bridges, come out and reach out, that's the secret today! Do the bit you can, do it consistently, do it genuinely, do it for their future, do it for your own children's sake, do it for posterity, do it for your country, do it for the world, do it for life after death.

✔True mentors don't clone to own, they groom and let go.

✔True mentors come close to protect not to molest.

✔True mentors don't manipulate to cage, but rather celebrate to raise.

✔Mentorship is not oppression but collaboration towards greater outcome.

✔Mentorship is not a show of supremacy and egoistic dominance but an opportunity for intellectual intimacy through mutual exchange powered by service.

✔Mentorship is not ownership but partnership that would yield personal profitability, community prosperity, national stability and global peace.


Some people are not in physical prison, but intellectually and emotionally they've been caged by the so called mentors who are nothing but tormentors.

Get out of the manipulation game, stop impairing people's center of intelligence, stop turning potential innovators to zombies who cannot make sound life decisions.

So many false mentors out there today, get out of manipulation, it's not good for you. If you can't fix their problems, don't add to it, it's a tough season in the land, it's a season to be unreservedly kind and be selflessly generous.

And for you the protege...watch this space for your side of the coin.

Are you under genuine mentorship or manipulative tormentorship?

Share your mentorship experience based on the categories listed above in the comment box, if you have any, Let's read, Laugh and Learn😁


Do You have or know any amazing mentor, send them a text and appreciate them.

Post by: Popoola Deborah
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IG: @arewaoyinda
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